The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
