Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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