I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize