nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
