And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Text me some of your sweat
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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