Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
