none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
