go do what you do best...puke behind churches
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
