Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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