Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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