she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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