question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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