bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
