They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
