How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
