This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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