Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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