How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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