You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
