I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
