I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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