Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You took a bar mat shot.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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