I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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