Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
