Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
