your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
