we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
