you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Houston, we have a blender
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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