you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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