I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
