my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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