Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
