oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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