yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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