I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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