Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
