if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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