I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize
