you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he puts the penis in happiness.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
