the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize