so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i came on her dog
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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