not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
