I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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