so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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