He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
