Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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