Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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