i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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