I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize