So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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