Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
