what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
