I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
