he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
