I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
