you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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