You work out of a Hotel?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
