do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
