Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Two words: blizzard sex
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
