You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
