oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
