We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
