Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
