I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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