Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
