i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
