I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
