Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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