haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think I am morally bankrupt
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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