the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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