It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
