It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
