I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
