she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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