I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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