Just cropdusted the office
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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