their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
