The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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