My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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