I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
